Quotes

Some short phrases and words that have a lot of meaning and some have no english translation.

Mamihlapinatapai-Yaghan–A look shared between two people where each person is wishing that the other will initiate something they both desire but which neither one wants to start.
The things I try to say. The things that I say that offend people most.


L'appel du vide-French – “The call of the void” is this French expression’s literal translation, but more significantly it’s used to describe the instinctive urge to jump from high places.
 This explains my head most days.


ya'aburnee: يقبرني  -Arabic – Both morbid and beautiful at once, this incantatory word means “You bury me,” a declaration of one’s hope that they’ll die before another person because of how difficult it would be to live without them.
  My closest friends


Saudade-Portuguese – One of the most beautiful of all words, translatable or not, this word “refers to the feeling of longing for something or someone that you love and which is lost.” Fado music, a type of mournful singing, relates to saudade.
The people that I still want to be close too, but can't


Amor Fati-latin-Love of Fate. No matter what happens, good or bad. It's for the better.
My life motto, I just have to keep moving.

GAHHH

I've been making great gains working out... Even noticing some physical changes! I was bad today though... Ate like 12 cookies, 2 cups of punch, and MEXICAN.... I think today was DEFINITELY a cheat day. Back at it hard, tomorrow at 6:30 A.M. though. So much to do, all I want to do is sleep though.

I hate myself... More than anyone will ever know or understand... I just want to feel ok again, at the least...

Fear

The feeling is still there... Each day, I don't like myself and can't stand me... I just can't be happy. I used to fake it. That made it worse... I embrace it. It makes it worse. Why do I hurt? There's only one thing I don't like about my world... Who I am.